There is no doubt in my mind that Becky Lynch is the man for me. Unfortunately, and as much as it stings to say, Becky is not as confident about us pairing up as I am. Why else would she have not contacted me by now? So even though I’ve been patiently waiting with the hope that the lass kicker herself would acknowledge my existence, accept my lust and settle down with me, I myself must accept the distinct, heartbreaking possibility that we may never cross paths and she may never know the loving I could provide her…
With that said, I would be a fool not to have a backup plan, or three, and I will share plans B, C and D with you all in a very transparent ploy to make The Man, Miss Becky Lynch jealous and aware of all that she is in danger of missing out on by ignoring me. Don’t wait until your old and fat to hit me up, Bex!
Girl for me Plan B: The bitch from Bumblebee
I don’t really watch movies because they’re too long, just like my dong, but I do watch television and lately there have been ads running for the movie Bumblebee. I don’t give a shit about Transformers, but I do give two shits about cute girls, and that’s what Hailee Steinfeld is. She’s welcome to transform her life into one centered around pleasing me, so long as she looks like she does in the movie. That’s easily her best look.
Girl for me Plan C: The bitch from Blood Drive
There were multiple woman who starred in Syfy’s Blood Drive, but the most attractive one is easily Alex McGregor, who played Karma. This beautiful young woman is as fit as myself and has a cool hairline. This South African starlet has opened my eyes to the wonders Africa has to offer, and for that, she’s more than earned her opportunity to ride by my side. Congratulations!
Girl for me Plan D: Dasha Nekrasova
I don’t know who the fuck she is, but I do know that I want to be inside her, and I want her inside of me too. She’s super cute and looks great in a sailor costume. It doesn’t take much, people…
And with that, I have my backups lined up incase Becky decides to make the worst mistake of her life and reject our perfect future together. I don’t know the best way to reach my backup bitches so I’m going to rely on you guys to spread this article so that they may find me. ANY ONE OF YOU WOULD BE LUCKY TO HAVE ME!!! Thank you all for not getting in my way — Have a blessed year.