Sorry, Aina

Part of me feels like I need to just give up people; I already have given up on other people making sound decisions and being any amount of reasonable. I actually have very low expectations of others, and I do think I’m increasingly grateful for when someone meets or exceeds them… For example, I’m very pleased when my takeout food order comes with utensils; that doesn’t always happen.

I wouldn’t feel the need to shake and scream at others if they were retarded in a bubble, but when it comes to the covid shit, OTHER PEOPLE go out of their way to force bullshit onto me and into my life. They literally have lowered the quality of my life. They want me to wear a mask to walk through a grocery store and use self-checkout, they demand I show proof of vaccination in order to remain employed… Shit’s fucked up, and I could deal with that, even if I don’t want others to have to suffer through it, just like how I can still sleep knowing people in other parts of the world are being blasted to shit, but fucked up shit is being not just introduced into my life, but forced upon me by idiots who are incapable of listening to reason, of having independent thoughts, of respecting other people individual choices…

My job insisted on everyone being “vaccinated” against covid because the retarded as clients demanded it… I think it’s none of the clients damn business what my vaccination status is, and I don’t know why my job has to be so unreasonable in its approach to the vaccine, but I do know that they also insist on everyone wearing a mask at work, so clearly the shit didn’t work out as planned.

Anyway, because of increasing restrictions on freedom, against bodily autonomy and because of stupid mandates, I can’t help but try to wake up the people around me who have bought into the bullshit. I feel like I have to do something, even though it causes me even more mental anguish knowing my efforts will be for naught… Knowing there are others like me in the world make me feel a little better, though… I’m holding out for a moment when I can say “I TOLD YOU SO,” because I feel like that’s the best I can hope for; I don’t know how to reason people out of forcing bad practices on to others; I can’t counter the media’s programming. I am also not willing to die or go to prison fighting for my position, so I’m just here… Just listening to Aina Hirose’s Travel in my Mind, trying to blog my negative feelings, my sour mood away. I’ll do some pushups… So I don’t look like Aina Hirose… Who happens to be a very enjoyable singer to listen to, but not necessarily look at… Because of the chub… But after image searching her on twitter, she looks completely normal compared to the people I see in real life… Making fun of fat people just put the smile back on my face dammit. I feel good again!

P.S. Letting go of expectations has, in the past, helped elevate my mood. Like a weight lifted, if you can afford to do so, sometimes lowering your expectations will make things easier/more pleasant.

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